Wednesday, July 14, 2010

That's One Sexy Dr. Zaius!

That's me on the right...I mean, on the left.

Robbie was asked by the cool and talented owner of Make-up and Monsters, Brian Penikas, to be "Dr. Zaius" for an ApeMania weekend. The AMC channel was showing all of the Planet of The Apes films, and they wanted to have funny bumpers between films where the apes would answer interview questions, act funny, and basically look bitchen'.

Robbie was great as the Good Doctor. He acted all old and crotchety, and would bang Zaius' cane on the floor, saying things like: "naturally, humans cannot act in films the way apes can," or "Man has no understanding of special effects." Then he would blink and grind his teeth together, which brought the incredible makeups to life. What a day.

As strange as it was to see Robbie's face completely transformed, it was also totally awesome. 
Robbie rules. So does Brian Penikas, and the entire Planet of the Apes franchise...well, except for 
Battle for the Planet of the Apes. That was total sh**t.

Things To Do in Your Copious Free Time, Part Septiemme

OK. It's out of my system now. I promise not to post any more of these.

Things To Do in Your Copious Free Time, Part Trois

Johnny Depp really is quite the chameleon, isn't he? Too bad about the teeth.

Things To Do in Your Copious Free Time, Part Deux

We plain-Janes can only hope to be as lovely as the stars.

Things To Do in Your Copious Free Time, Part One

I used to be a trash magazine junkie. Life and Style, Star, OK and The Enquirer, I read them all...weekly. That's a $15.00 a week habit, my friends. I should have taken up something a little cheaper, like heroin!

A year or so ago I discovered a website called "D-Listed" that changed my habits for good. "D-Listed," supplemented on slow news days by "Perez" has quenched my thirst for celebrity smut, and for free, no less!

Still, my dark days of magazine addiction did have one interesting by-product: my marker masterpieces. Enjoy.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hey, That's the Guy from Corvette Summer!

In the Spring of 1996, my friend Molly and I visited Universal Studios. We took the tour, ate the food, saw King Kong, smelled the bananas, all that stuff. As we were strolling through City Walk toward the parking lot, we saw a small line of people lined up. Molly darted over to the last person in line and asked what it was for, and they said: "Mark Hamill is up there!"

Well, Molly valiantly jammed into line literally seconds before some guy announced that the line was closed. I ran towards the now out-of-business Sam Ash (or whatever the hell it was) music store, and picked up two "Luke Skywalker" postcards. Moments later, we were in front of HIM.

After he signed the cards (mine with hearts!) we asked his handler if he could take a picture with us. Molly wisely walked around the table to Hamill's side, but, dumbass that I am, I leaned BACKWARDS over the table towards him. He grabbed me around my neck and pulled my face up against his. After holding my weird angle for a few seconds, my back began to quake with the effort of holding the pose.

"You're shaking." Hamill whispered in my ear. It was kinda sexy. The camera went off, and we went on our way.

Thanks, dude. You'll always have the most midichlorians in MY book.

Shows I Never Want To See, Part Two: I Don't Recall Lucan's Old Adventure

Twi-tards rejoice! Apparently, Jacob's grandpa was on TV in the 70's...and judging by the inset image, he was a very short guy. Lucan's hair looks like it smells like White Rain hairspray and burnt banana peels.

Yeah, but I'm heading for the hills!

Wow. In this wacky sitcom, the man cooks and cleans while the woman goes to work. What will they think of next?

No Sh*t.

How charming. This is from back when people didn't say they were on a diet, they said that they wanted to "reduce." Tab cola was sort-of a new thing...and being overweight was equated with being "jolly." 

Toady, a woman carrying a few extra pounds a'la Anita Ekberg is the equivalent of having the the plague. That's why I dress like an Amish woman, covered from head to toe...there's less to obsess about.